cheddabunikilla

I don't really talk about my boyfriend on here. I don't think..
That's usually the only thing people talk about on here haha. Their love interest. I thought i'd give it a go:
I love our story of getting together. It's like a movie sort of haha. (loser). I just think it's amazing how we were always flirty friends. Then Ryan came in the picture and we were still friends. Yeah, there was that period of time when 'i hated you' but you know that was to keep Ryan from yelling at me. It was a terrible thing to do. I just didn't have the strength to leave him. I'm not sure if you ever talked bad about me. But I know for a while you hated me too. Shit, I hated me. I don't blame him.
You always called randomly. That's how I memorized your number, But..Ryan memorized it too.
But he was still there throughout all that crap. Then towards the end. I tried again to talk to you. So did Ryan. It's funny how we both came to you.
Then about a month later we started dating.
After all the years of you being my best friend and then having to go through me dating a terrible person. Caleb Paxton is amazing.
He's half boyfriend half best friend haha.
He is kind of the perfect counterpart to me. He's very rational. I need someone like that haha. We just balance eachother but it's not completely 'opposite attract'. Our lives both have family pain, orchestra, humor sometimes, tv shows (what.. is that really that significant of a thing we have in common? Is that really necessary? yeah..)
It's hard to explain. We are both center of attention kind of people. Which is hardsometimes and sometimes we help eachother out haha. A good example is we figure that I will do the first day speech for GSA and he will do the graduation speech. Both big attention peeps but we work it out haha.
Caleb is just. A really good person for me.
Something else I think is amazing is that. He is the kind of person who doesn't say 'I love you'. He thinks it should only be said when it's really serious. and i'm not like an.. 'I love you' whore but I have said it to Ryan.
IN CONCLUSION.
He says it to me. The day he said it. I was a little suspicious because it was during that period of time when I was in that place. But knowing Caleb. I knew it wasn't just because he felt bad. He meant it. And that just makes me feel like I really am worthy of being his girlfriend.

The point of this rambling is that. Last night driving him home after saying goodbye to my best friend ever. She might as well be me and Caleb's girlfriend haha. Caleb, Patty, and Sav. That was the funnest group. I kept thinking. Me and Caleb have a chance of going to the same college. But. Another chance of not going to the same college. He told me a while ago that he will be with me as long as I let him. But what if that changes. What if he realizes we will be going to school blah miles apart and it won't work.
I need to be more confident.
It's just a nagging thing in my head lately.
What if?
I guess I don't talk about him that much on here because I talk about my problems. And the things bothering me.
Caleb is nothing like that. He's the one good thing I have right now.