Running away is not as good as I thought it was. I mean I did it terribly but.. It was pretty much just the initial feeling of freedom, then I kept feeling worse and worse.
Maybe if I get out all my thoughts at 3AM on here. I can stop thinking so much and get back to sleep.
I wish I could cheer up Michaela not just for a while but truly cheer her up. But I feel the same or close to it. I wish she could just take the load off her back and put it on mine. I hate/love when I meet someone who has been through the same horrible things. It's great to be able to REALLY talk about it with someone but I hate that someone I love has been through/is going through such shit. It was the same with Julie.
I feel a lot of things in my heart. When i'm depressed my heart physically aches. When i'm truly truly happy it's like expanded and lifted. I feel like I can breathe deeper.
I wrote down all the times since the depression when I felt truly happy. It suprised me how short it was.
And now the power went out.. great.
No comments:
Post a Comment