constructive rest. hppblgdy2

tuesday.

before school:

i woke up lateish. i got ready pretty fast. faster than usual. as i walked out of the band room. this big group of band kids stopped talking as i walked by. completely silent. and then as i pass by they all bust out laughing. saying things about me. i don't understand people.. i didn't do anything to them. i don't talk to them. i don't ignore them. i actually am helping out tallwood orchestra. so shut the fuck up. leave me alone.. jeez.

advance placement government:

viet (only friend at tallwood) drew a picture of me. it's kind of scary looking. i drew one of him and it fell on the floor and my teacher taped it on the filing cabinet. it looked a lot like viet. just.. with wolverine claws. ahhah. i got two 100 quizzes. nothing to freak about. gov is easy for me. this guy cheated off of me. asshole. i fucking hate that school.

advanced placement english:

i bombed a wuthering heights test. beasted the short answer part! read an awesome poem. had to listen to stupid overachievers. gah, i want to like. beat them until they don't care anymore. i think my teacher likes me. i have a bleh grade in there. just a 88. but i'm pretty okay at interpreting poems. and writing shit. because i actually give a shit about the content. not getting straight A's like the overachiever assholes. i hate them..

studyblock/lunch/pracitce block:

this guy wants me to play in this band of his. it's like.. fuckin'. avenged sevenfold shit. GROSS. he's so awkward. like.. i don't know. socially. there's a lot of silences. and small talk. he wants a quartet. i'll get caleb for sure. but the violins.. uhhh ahah who would be willing? weird.. he really fucked up my practice focus. after his dumb weird conversation i was all flustered and practiced stupidly. not fun..

my stupid middle finger on my left hand is messed up. it's like an aweful bruise. whenever i touch it it hurts. even like.. lightly. ughhh. cello sucks now.

bus:

didn't really talk. kept to myself. listened to telephone.

lesson:

i love mrs. frittelli. the allegro of the vivaldi no. 5 sonata is good. the largo is bleh. rough still. but i really care about it. like.. allegro came easier to me. but the largo i really want to be awesome and i want to work really hard on it to get it to where i'm happy with it. ya know?

da camera:

weird mood. um. it was okay. i suck at that music. that's the bottom of my practice list.

eurythmics:

constructive rest. i'm usually not a fan. but it was great this time. with all my stressing out i really needed that recharge. good for other lame reasons too.. haha. i wonder if you notice these things..

bus:

caleb bought me starbucks. i'm trying to not gain 23890476 pounds. but it was nice of him. bus was kind of weird. with the whole. moral dilemma. and darrin was talking to karl about math stuff. i just listened to gag. telephoneee. i love me some hunter though. kind of a weird mood on the bus.

home:

fine. me and my mom are the shit. on the first bus. to gsa. i was just thinking about how much i love her. i just. i would do anything for her. i'm so close with her now. i feel aweful for blaming her for everything. so stupid..

dinner with dad:

family guy. chinese food. no conversation. the usual..

okay i just realized maybe not all of this was happy.. uhhh. i'll go back and strike through the possible "sad" stuff. mm.. EDIT TIMEEE!

weird noticing how much i like.. say mean things about myself. "isuck" "cellosucks"

i'm going to try to not say "sucks" as much on this.

we'll see how that goes..