fuckit.

fuck "happyblogweek". i made it till thursday.. go me.
whatever.
i'm not a happy person. i'm never going to be a happy person. obviously i can't even pretend to be happy for a week.
i've been in and out of laying in bed crying since exactly 6:00. it's fucking 9:39.
everything is futile.
i hate this blog. i hate this post. i hate everything and everyone including everything i own and everything i have ever looked at and everything i've thought about.
i wish i could write beautifully. i wish i could mask my pain with insane diction and other literary devices.
but i can't.
my writing turns into giant clouds of the same thing written over and over again on, words on top of words. a big mess.
i. am. un. hap. py.