bday.

i had a really good day with elly. really good. we attempted to look for this place she wanted to show me. and gave up. but that was fine.
attempted making a julius caeser rap. and mine was awesome.
then we just laid in her bed. and talked. and that was the best part. moments like that i pray for time stopping so i could stop the world but me and her could stay like that and be conscious of it.
then i went to godspell. it was 6:30 when i got to taco bell. i was really ambivalent about going but iwas like fuck it i'm sure i'll regret not eating more then eating. so i did it. and i was driving kin dof quickly to rehearsal. i get there at 6:50 at the completely wrong building. i ask two older men how to get in to this very wrong building. the point out it's the wrong building. and offer me a ride. SO I GET IN. ahah. has anyone seen the sarah silverman episode where she wants to make her city safe to get into a stranger's van? ahha i thought of that. but i got to the right place right at 7 opened my case. searched for my music. NOT THERE. so the sweating begins. i run to the guy and he says basically go get it and drive safe. so i ran to my car which was still parked at the very wrong building. 29465 miles away. started to call elly while running thought that would not help me an dit'd be better to call mom. called her to start looking. and then i looked in my car. then i realized it was in my dad's car. and i called him 6 times back to back. and he didn't answer until like the 8th. and he says he's on his way. then i proceed to calling elly crying my eyes out.
i don't know how she deals with me haah. rehearsal went fine. i don't feel as bad because i didn't miss any playing time. AND. gary constantly forgets to tell me things until it's irrelevant. we played this song and then this song and went directly into what i thought were the bows. and then i realized it wasn't. got so confused. and afterwards i was like
..?
and he was like oh yeaaaah we're doing the exit music not the bows. he's forgotten to tell me so many cuts. and different things. and reminded me stupid things. HEY SAVANNAH SO RIGHT NOW WE'RE DOING THIS SONG THAT DOESN'T HAVE MUSIC AND THEN DOING THE OVERTURE. K?
yeah.. duh.
whatevs. that's show business? at regent? with a church band?
idkkk.

IT'S A BDAY. so. everyone cross your fingers. i can make it to school today. i can do it. i swear. i can go to school. i will not cry in the car. i will not stutter. shake. vibrate. anything. i'll be fine. tallwood is nothing. it's just one class. and it's oceanography. i'll be fine. i'll be fine. and then i'll practice. it'll be okay. don't cry.


okay i'm good.