yesterduh, was really good. i think the biggest part for both me and elly was interacting with her little cousins. they're nine and.. seven? six? uhh. i don't know! but. honestly, i was thinking about this today. i never talk to my relatives. i don't have siblings. my mom's friends children are either grown or my age. i have never played with little kids before. plus, due to all the other facts. i'm really awkward around them. i've never held a baby. i've never picked up a toddler. changed a diaper. NOTHING. i've never done anything ofdasort.
it was just cool. okay? jeez. hahah. and they liked me! sophie did. she said i was her best friend at the end hahah. i felt like this whole. future mom business wouldn't be so awful. maybe i don't hate kids as much as i thought i did.
SPEAKING OF MOMZ. today is the day of momz. dionne asks about her. pearl does. it's funny. i don't know. and cool. how they care about her. she is still in the thick of it. i think if a social worker came in and saw a day at our apartment they would slip us up. but it does work. i cry in the morning and either make it to school or stay home. if i do go to school my mom cries while i'm there. i mean. real screaming hours and hours of crying. then i come home. we watch tv and eat crappy food. and go to sleep. where she probably cries again. she searches for a job all day. barely leaves the house. except for therapy. but when i'm upset. she goes right into mom mode. it's awesome. even if she was crying to me the day before she takes such good care of me when i'm sad. because she knows how it feels. and she knows what to do. i mean it's different for everyone but by now she knows what bothers me and what helps. sometimes it's hard. sometimes i feel like i have to take care of her. and like it's not my job to do that. but in any relationship. whether it's friendship, romantic, or family. you take care of eachother. sometimes i over do it though. i don't know. i just. really appreciate her. because weekends with my dad i really see what i'm not appreciating back at the apartment. his influence with money is nice sometimes. but she. i don't know. she's different.
now while i type this. it is not like. breaking each line. it's just a really long continuous line of poop. so. hopefully it changes when it is posted. but if it's like this. i'm sorry... i don't know how to fix it.
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