scroyo.

i love you, hunter. all i can think about are thumbs now. and what that means. and looking at other peoples thumbs

this made me really happy. stupid right? but. just. those words. the fact that today before GSA hunter was looking at everyone's thumb who walked in the door. and marcus's thumb which was GIGANTIC. and now pearl is. and she's hours away. in a completely different place. caring about the same thing.

i don't know.

gives me hope for next year.

..not that i didn't have hope already.

i grind my teeth. it's weird i'm just talking about this now. but sometimes i'll realize i'm doing it and let go and it's like. weird. i don't know! i wake up grinding. grind. grind. grind.

dionne gave me her GSA hoodie. i'm wearing it now.

i'm worried about this stupid scholarship. i went to guidance and asked for the form not realizing it was due today. and she was like oh, give it to me monday! and i was like well fuck.. three recs? so. i asked dionne and jeff. and maybe i can get them before monday.. i just hate rushing people. it's not my fault though.. so. i don't know. it doesn't matter it still bothers me.

i say i don't know too much. i guess because i usually don't. but. i almost said it just now. caleb and i were arguing and he brought that up and i never noticed it. funny how you notice stupid things when someone mentions them and are now completely conscious of it all the time.

i don't like. how some people bother me now. but i've known them for so long. it's weird how they've changed so much to the point of me not completely liking them anymore.. have i changed that much? since freshman year? speaking of freshman. timmy thought i was a freshman. i don't know what he based that on. if it was my personality it makes sense. and i don't really look like a senior.

if i had a bunch of smells i had to identify i would not be able to pick out dionne's. i guess it's because we're never like.. close to eachother. but i could definitely pick out elly's. and pearl's. and caleb's. and hunter's. and my mom's. wow. i can't think of anyone else.

my stomach hurt on the bus yesterday when me and hunter were discussing the things in marah's butt. POINTED STONES?! hahah. weak.

my dad put the tuition deposit to VCU and berklee. soooo..

that's where i am with college.

i'm really really really afraid everytime i open my email. ever since prescreening cds time. i have this huge fear. that something college related will go bad. and it'll be in an email. and blah.

i need a job. now.

i'm tired..