day five.

elly. it's so weird. i use to be so. afraid. to be on the phone when i was little. i'd say up until.. ninth grade. it got.. kind of better as i got older. elementary school i refused. i could. not. middle school i would for a second. then i'd make an excuse to go. it made me so nervous. more nervous then being like in a party situation or something. ninth grade i was fixed. for.. bad reasons.

now every night. i can talk. i can sleep. i can eat. i can brush my teeth. all on the phone. it's easy! hahah. easy with you.

i still get nervous on the phone with others i won't lie.

i also get nervous around tia calantropo. i need to work on that.

pearllll. it's funny you're talking about leaving vcu and stuff. reading that. i was like. umm. i don't think i would want to go if she didn't go. hahah.

i'm getting so nervous. new england said early january. so did manhattan. but i had to resend it. so i'm afraid they already are running out of spots. and i don't think i could get in even if like. they had every spot open. i'm nervous. freakin' dara and gary weaver go there. manhattan is crazy. gahhhh. i want to go to a conservatory so bad.

i hope hunter's doing okay. i worry about him a lot now. he's my best friend. i mean. we weren't all happy in the summer. but we were sometimes. and we were together all the time. or most of the time. it'd be nice to go back just for a little while.

i am twitching and stuttering again. and again and again.

i'm just going to say i'm confused right now. or i don't know. because. it's not like i have to know. i'll just figure it out. no one will make me tell them something.

i'll tell them. i really like elly.

suck on that.