grandpa.

my mom told me the other night while taking out the trash that my grandpa killed himself.
i was told that he died in his sleep. this was a long time ago. like middle school age. but he took a gun to his head. because my grandma was really sick and he loved her so much. they told her that he died in his sleep too.
i also realized that my mom probably wouldn't let me see prince of tides because there was a character named savannah who tried killing herself mulitiple times.



i'm not really.. that bothered by it either. kind of sucks that their little way of protecting me from suicide didn't help at all.
i wish my grandma knew what happened to my grandpa. that's completely unfair.


i had a dream my parents read this. and i texted someone saying like.. WHATTHEFUCKKK. and my parents read that too. i'm really paranoid sometimes.
i'm wearing pearl's giant 17th street hoodie. it's a good "i'msick" hoodie. IT'S FILLED WITH DA GERMS NOW!
i'm going to go watch the rest of that movie. it's so weird hearing my name all the time. savannah this savannah that.
christmas is coming up.. i've never really been that big of a christmas list maker. i usually get something ridiculous that i'd never use or that one big thing i wanted. like an ipod or something. i don't know. it seems selfish and dumb to make a giant list.
it's usually just one thing i want. or nothing. same for birthdays.
gift giving is just strange on the recieving end. it's fun giving!



alright. i gotta pee.