Friday, November 20, 2009

not feeling good at all lately,


i don't think i've ever had a dream where i did that before. i would never do that to you i promise. i guess it's because you mentioned it today.
i feel so inferior.

if one more person says "that's so depressing.." "i'm like, depressed right now" i'll lose it. maybe i'll start counting how many times it happens.
speaking of depression, does it end? i mean i sure as hell feel better than january february of last year. but. does it ever completely go away? i'm still having panic attacks and twitching and random crying and pain and "suicidal ideology". how long does this last?
i'm just like. tired of everything. and frustrated. and scared. so fucking angry.
caleb had a panic attack the other night. now he knows. that's kind of nice. horrible thing to say.
i'm not prepared.

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