god. i can't do this much longer.
i want to be strong like gabby. she just stood there her face raw from crying and waited for the oboe to play the tuning A in front of everyone standing tall and proud.
while i cry in the corner and it wasn't my dad.
while i have to deal with caleb for scaring elly and me.
while i have to get yelled at by my mom and feeling like the worst human being on the planet.
while i have to struggle not to dig into my arms.
she's amazing.
i'm a wreck.
i could stare at elly all day.
i really need you right now pearl. really bad. i can't wait for you to come home..
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