you don't have to be happy all the time.

sure, it's a nice goal. but that's unhealthy.
BALANCE, KIDS! BALANCE! if balance was a religion ahha i'd be up for that. no church or anything just focusing on being as closed to being balanced as possible. yes, even bad things. so unhappy times and happy times guys.
it was awkward at the funeral. sometimes i feel bad that i'm not religious and have no idea what to do with my hands or what to sing or repeat back. but then it's like.. i don't care.. all these rituals are kind of scary. it was strange the things that made me cry.
i cried more than i thought i would.
it was nice to drive to GSA with dionne. i missed her.
it was also nice to have extended elly time on the bus.
and to see pearly.
you really need to meet her. she's a big part of mi vida.
i hate my phone.
speaking of phone.. you're really getting on my nerves. just.. period. ending that train of thought.
god.. okay i can't just stop thinking about it. i want to be your friend because i want to support you through all this shit you have to go through because i do know you the best. but. i know its so hard to be around me now. and i can act normal around you but. it's different now that "you're not over me" such bullshit. even if it's true. just. full of hypocrisy and pissoffsavannahness.
suck it.
no matter what. i will see you everyday this weekend. okay? i will figure it out.
and to pearl: i will see you this weekend and hopefully have you see elly again.

hopefullyhopefullyhopefully.
hope is such a funny word.